February 7 , 2010

Last night's show was the first installment of "Funkuary", The Five Count's month-long dedication to the funk. During the show we busted out on the funk, gave shout-outs to a deathbed-ridden Ton, and Dustin's grandma called in to discuss embroidery floss. If you missed the show you can get your funk fix in the Audio.

...There will be no show next week. The Five Count will be preempted by KMSU's broadcast of 3-D Trivia. "Funkuary" will resume on Feb. 20. We will come up with something to tide you over later this week.

February 3, 2010

This Saturday, The Five Count won't be your typical "Jive Count". In fact, the entire month of February will now be known as "Funkuary". Tune in to The Five Count at 11 p.m. this Saturday and every Saturday this month for a lesson in getting funky!

January 31, 2010

During last night's show we celebrated Princemas! We discussed all the reasons why Prince is so great, told the story of how Prince gave Ton his name, and thwarted the sophomoric efforts of the Princemas Grinch, a/k/a the Dirty Birds. Several rugs were defaced during the making of this show. Visit the Audio section to relive the magic.

January 27, 2010

This Saturday The Five Count will be celebrating Princemas! It's sort of like Christmas, but with way more Prince! Tune in at 11 p.m. to hear what real music sounds like...

January 24, 2010

During last night's show we described the similarities between Ton and Udo Dirkschneider, the singer for the metal band Accept, shared tips on proper chest waxing, and stirred up an on-air reunion with our former sponsor Finish Line Liquors. If you missed out, go to the Audio section to listen to it when you aren't so busy.

January 23, 2010

Tonight is your night, bro! Tune into The Five Count at 11 p.m. to hear the best hour of radio this side of the Iron Curtain. If you can't wait, head over to the Audio section to listen to a whole bunch of old stuff. Either way, it's all cream cheese. Also, here's a video put together by Five Count listener Joe Eggen. It has girls in bikinis. Enjoy...

January 17, 2010

During last night's show Ton talked about proper loofah usage, we explained the dangers of having "relations" with cattle, and discussed the similarities between the general manager of the station and Bono. It was uncanny! Please head over to the Audio section if you missed it.

January 13, 2010

We have a new episode of the show in "The Vault" for your listening pleasure. It was a very special edition of the show from the summer of '08. We couldn't help but notice that the listeners have been letting themselves go. So for this show, with the help of former heavyweight wrestling champion Hulk Hogan and his patented workout program, we set out to try and get Southern Minnesota back into shape. Check it out in the Audio section.

If there's a special show you would like to hear from the past, send us a line and we'll put it in "The Vault" for you.

January 10, 2010

During last night's show we spent a lot of time apologizing for our past chauvinistic digressions. Ton was especially disappointed about his tendency to be piggish in the past. During the show we also compared David Bowie to the McDonald's Big Mac Moon, planned a hacky-sacking road trip to Oregon, and Ton talked with a caller in great detail about the art of sandwich making. It was the most misogynistless show ever! If you missed it, visit the Audio section.

January 9, 2010

Don't forget to tune in for a brand new edition of The Five Count tonight! What can you expect? We have no idea, but we know you won't want to miss it. In the meantime, check out this video. It'll make you think...

January 3, 2010

Last night we danced our way into the new year with our special "Sweatin' to The Five Count" program. During the show we tried to sell Birk into slavery, discussed the striking similarities between Ton and Roy Orbison, and sweated profusely as we simultaneously boogied and oogied into 2010. If you missed it, head over to the Audio section to find out what everyone will be talking about at work Monday morning. Also, behold Dustin Wilmes, the new year's baby, below...

December 30, 2009

The Five Count will be dancing its way into the new year with "Sweatin' to The Five Count" this week. Grab a partner, iron your poodle skirts, punch a square, and tune in at 11 p.m. this Saturday to start the decade off right...

December 27, 2009

During last night's decade-ending edition of The Five Count we completely abandoned the usual musical portions of the show and went back to our talk-radio roots. Former KMSU superstar and host of "The Curfew" Dylan Schultz joined us for the show. Since The Five Count has been ripping off The Curfew for years, resurrecting the old Curfew format for the final show of the '00s seemed like the right thing to do.

During the show we discussed the numerous stains left on the furniture at KMSU, received another phone call from a disgruntled Santa, slandered LeVar Burton, spoke with Ridge Runner about the pros and cons of wearing moccasins, and reminisced about the good ol' days. If you missed it, head over to the Audio section and hear history.

December 25, 2009

We at The Five Count hope you have a merry Christmas (or whatever you might celebrate around this time of year) and try to stay out of the ditch. Coming up this Saturday, The Five Count will merge with former KMSU radio superstars "The Curfew" as former host Dylan Schultz makes a surprise appearance. You long-time listeners know the history between these two shows and won't want to miss the last show of the decade as The Five Count and The Curfew collide.

Also, don't forget to check out The Five Count House Band's latest Christmas single, "A Five Count Christmas". Now the only thing that's missing is Charo...

December 20, 2009

Last night was the fifth annual edition of "A Five Count Christmas". It was filled to the brim with merry. During the show we shared loads of Christmas cheer, Ton offered himself up as a gift to the ladies of Southern Minnesota, and we received a phone call from Santa Claus who explained how the birth of Jesus ruined Christmas. If you missed it or want a copy to give your loved ones for the holidays, go to the Audio section and check it out.

We also have a brand new song from The Five Count House Band called, oddly enough, A Five Count Christmas. You can check that out as well. It will make the perfect soundtrack whilst going over the river and through the woods to grandma's house. You can also check out The Curfew's rendition of "On Christmas, On Christmas, On Christmas" by clicking here.

December 16, 2009

This Saturday will be the fifth annual edition of "A Five Count Christmas". Tune in at 11 p.m. for a refresher course on the true meaning of Christmas. Dustin and Ton will be torching the yule log, taking your phone calls, and deciding who's naughty and nice.

If you're still looking for that perfect gift for your loved ones, why not give them the gift of radio stardom? Call in to the show and become a yuletide radio big shot. In addition to that, we will also feature two brand new Christmas songs, one written and recorded by The Five Count House Band and one written and recorded by former KMSU radio powerhouse, The Curfew.

Give us a call during the show, 1-800-456-7810, and talk Christmas with The Five Count.

December 13, 2009

Last night's show was a precursor to next week's edition of "A Five Count Christmas." The show was overflowing with Christmas music to get Southern Minnesota in the holiday spirit. During the show we explained the logistics of time traveling with the True Punks, Dustin told a story about his days in the band Pennywise, and we discussed the possibility of being haunted by Ton's ghost. It's in the Audio section. Here's a video that rocks...

December 12, 2009

Tonight's show will be overflowing with Christmas spirit. We're givin' the holidays a mega belly bounce with back-to-back Christmas shows. Next week will be the 5th edition of "A Five Count Christmas", which means tonight's show will be "A Five Count Christmas Eve". It makes sense right? Tune in for the laughs, stay for the love. Also, if that wasn't enough, you can also get a X-mas blast from the past with an old Christmas show in the Audio Vault. Ho, ho, ho...

December 09, 2009

This just in! The True Punks are "big whiny poser tru punk wannabe baby cry baby onion cuttin' whimpos"! Read all about it!

December 6, 2009

Listen to last night's show now! During the show we tried our best to track down Ton's numerous illegitimate children, Ton discouraged a would-be killer by disclosing his long-time friendship with champion kickboxer Sasha Mitchell, and Dustin explained the trials and tribulations of having quintceps (the muscles that come after biceps and triceps.) Get it now in the Audio section.

December 2 , 2009

Ever wonder what "The Five Count" means? Here's a video that explains our namesake...

November 29, 2009

Here it is. Last night's show in its entirety. There's no better way to spend your Sunday morning. Get it now in the Audio section. After that, watch this video...

November 28, 2009

Finish off the month of November tonight with a brand new edition of The Five Count. Tune in to hear it live at 11 p.m, It's not like you have anything better to do. If you can't wait that long and need a Five Count fix, check out the brand new page for The Five Count House Band.

November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving from The Five Count! We like-like you all! If you haven't already done so, check out "A Five Count Thanksgiving" in the Audio section. Say hi to your mom for Ton. He'll be over after all the coats are off the bed. Here's the Hulkster on Thanksgiving...

November 22, 2009

If you missed "A Five Count Thanksgiving" last night and want to secure a copy for this Thursday, it's in the Audio section. It makes a great soundtrack for dinner with grandma. Also, be sure to check out the new song from The Five Count House Band while you're at it. It's called D.L.W. More songs are in the works. Here's a stuffing recipe...

November 21, 2009

Be sure to tune in tonight at 11 for "A Five Count Thanksgiving" at 11. Call us during the show at 1-800-456-7810 and tell us what you're thankful for. Also, brand new song from The Five Count House Band tonight! Celebrate Turkey Day The Five Count way!

November 15, 2009

You missed last night's show? Smooth move, ExLax! Download it now in the Audio section.

November 11, 2009

Before there was great radio. Before the True Punks. Before the Dirty Birds. Yes, even before Ton. A radio show made its debut on the airwaves of KMSU and Southern Minnesota was never the same. Behold, the very first episode of The Five Count! It's henious. It's unprofessional. It's hard to stomach. It's available in "The Vault" for your listening (dis)pleasure. Get it in the Audio section. You can also check out this video for no reason...

November 8, 2009

Don't tell us you missed last night's show! It was the knee of a bee. Listen to it now. Drop that zero and get with the hero. Get it in the Audio section now.

November 4, 2009

This is Ton's favorite song...

November 1, 2009

Did you miss your chance to hear our special Halloween show? Wanted to rock out to the evil sounds of Impaler but couldn't handle it during the nighttime hours? You're in luck! The fine folks at The Five Count have the show available to download at your convenience. You can hear the show in the Audio section.

October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween everybody! We are excited about the fifth installment of our Halloween-themed shows for the month of october. Bill Lindsey of Impaler will be on The Five Count tonight! Tune in at 11 p.m. to add a shock rock chaser to your sugar overload. Bring your raincoats, 'cause the guts will be flyin'!

October 28, 2009

 

No plans this Halloween? You're in luck! The Five Count will round out it's Halloween-themed shows this Saturday with a special interview with Bill Lindsey, vo-kill-ist and founding member of the legendary shock rock band Impaler. They've given Tipper Gore many sleepless nights and are sure to make your Halloween complete. Tune in this Saturday, if you dare...

October 25, 2009

Last night's show is available for the masses. Not only was it the fourth round of our Halloween-themed shows, but it also featured an interview with Count Kaufman, the man behind Minnesota's one and only horror convention, Crypticon. You can hear the show in the Audio section. You can find out more about Crypticon here. Dustin and Ton will be there. You should, too.

October 24, 2009

Don't blow your chance to get your very own Five Count mix CD. It's like your very own edition of the show, dedicated to you! All you need to do is pledge money to KMSU. Scroll down past Hammer's "Addams Family Groove" video below for all the details.

Tonight's show will not only continue the Halloween theme that we've beat to death all month long, but will also feature an interview with the fine folks at Crypticon, Minnesota's premiere horror convention. Tune in to find out who's gonna be there and how you can be there, too...

October 21, 2009

Are you having Five Count withdrawls? Don't think you can make it to Saturday night without hearing the hilarious antics of Ton and Dustin? Have no fear! A new show from last year's stretch of Halloween show's is available in "The Vault" to satisfy your needs. Check it out in the Audio section. We will continue our Halloween-themed shows this coming Saturday. Be there...

October 18, 2009

Last night's show was broadcast live from the KMSU boiler room. If you missed it (whether you had other plans or were too scared to tune in) now is your chance to catch the fever in the Audio section. While you wait for it to download, why not watch this?

October 17, 2009

Here's a lengthy post for all you Five Count fanatics. Tonight's show is the third installment of our Halloween-themed shows for the month of October. The show will be a scream, as we will broadcast live from the bowels of KMSU's creepy, smelly, dark, dank boiler room. Will Ton succumb to the boiler room's foul-tempered residents (i.e. rats, snakes, Gully) and be left for dead while a tear-soaked Dustin runs for higher ground? Tune in to find out. Regardless of the outcome, great radio will be made.

On a friendlier note, it's also pledge drive season. Your favorite dispensers of great radio, KMSU, spent all its petty cash on radio towers, purple paint, and fancy magnets. Now they need you to bail them out. That's right, it's time for KMSU's fall pledge drive.

Between now and Oct. 25, you have the opportunity to drive some tax-deductible pledges to KMSU in exchange for warm feelings and swag (which is hipster jargon for free stuff.) You can go to www.kmsu.org to find out what amounts can score you what premiums. If you wish to pledge, you can call (507) 389-5678 to speak to one of your favorite radio personalities or go to the website and give your information there. Be sure to mention you listen to The Five Count when giving your pledge info.

If you call into The Five Count tonight (Oct. 17) or next Saturday (Oct. 24) with a pledge of at least $10 or more, you can receive your very own, exclusive, one-of-a-kind, unique, personalized CD. That's right! Every person who pledges money during The Five Count gets their very own CD, complete with music and personalized messages from the hosts, Dustin Wilmes and Juston "Ton" Cline.

Even if you pledged in the past and received a CD from us, you can pledge again and again with the reassurance that every CD you receive from us will be unique and special. Please Note: Much like the show, these CDs are unscripted and unplanned. Since they aren't meant for radio broadcast, it is possible that these CDs could contain language, ideas, and sophomoric whatnots that are unsuitable for some listeners. Just ask KMSU-host Ms. Lona. She found out the hard way...

So call in and pledge your support. No other show on KMSU will offer you a premium as loving and intimate as The Five Count. You can only get these CDs by calling during The Five Count and pledging $10 or more. They make great gifts for the holidays. They make great soundtracks for long car trips to Grandma's. They make great radio possible!

…We're ready to believe you!

October 14, 2009

The Five Count is mourning the loss of pro wrestling legend Capt. Lou Albano. We will briefly break into the Halloween-themed show this Saturday to play a song in remembrance of the captain. In the meantime, here are some videos of Capt. Lou for you to enjoy:

October 11, 2009

Last night's show is now available for those of you who have plans on Saturday nights. We wouldn't want you to be confused at the water cooler Monday morning when everyone is talking about it. Get it in the Audio section.

October 10, 2009

The Five Count will continue its Halloween hoedown tonight with more "spooktacular" tunes and unintentionally-scary discussions. Tune in at 11 p.m. to be horrified. Here's a video to tide you over:

October 4, 2009

Last night's show, complete with spooky Halloween tunes and terrifyingly sophomoric banter is now available in the Audio section. Next week will continue the Halloween-themed shows we have planned for the month of October.

In the meantime, take sime time to check out Minnesota's upcoming horror convention, Crypticon, and buy some tickets for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Dustin and Ton will be there and so should you. Stay tuned for further details...

October 1, 2009

There's a new show available in "The Vault" for you and your family to enjoy. You can check it out in the Audio section. Also, the month of October means rockin' Halloween tunes for you and yours. Tune in every Saturday for a spooky throwdown...

September 27, 2009

Last night's show is up and running in the Audio section. You can now listen to it at your leisure. We will have a new show in "The Vault" for your listening pleasure later this week. Also, be sure to go to check out the new issue of Save the Crumbs. It's Mankato's premier literary journal. Smell ya later...

September 19, 2009

Tonight we are celebrating four years of "Ton" with a special "Funky Five Count" edition of the show. It was four years ago this weekend that Ton was officially "fired" from his old funk show (The Mothership Connection) and officially "hired" by The Five Count. Where does the time go? Tune in tonight and get funky!

September 13, 2009

Not only is last night's show available in the Audio Section, but a new show is also available in "The Vault" for all to enjoy/endure. The show uploaded into "The Vault" is from four years ago and commemorates the night Ton officially became a co-host of The Five Count. Listening to it should get you ready for next week's special show. More details coming this week...

September 10, 2009

The updates just keep coming! Now there's a brand new track that was recently unearthed by The Five Count House Band that you can give a listen to. It's called Kyle & Dustin's Bogus Journey and it's ridiculous. Enjoy...

September 9, 2009

There's a new show uploaded into "The Vault" from September 9, 2006. We choose "The Vault" shows at random and the shows from back then are pretty hit and miss, so be advised.

September 8, 2009

Last Saturday's show is now available in the Audio Section. Sorry for the delay. We know Southern Minnesota gets cranky when they can't listen to The Five Count with the family after Sunday church service.

September 6, 2009

Since the station The Five Count originates from (89.7 FM KMSU-Mankato) seems to be a never ending haven for hilarious technical problems, last night's show is not uploaded yet. It will be up in the near future.

In the meantime, please enjoy these wacky radio promos. These promos don't seem to work at KMSU either, but you can enjoy them here. Promo #1 & Promo #2

August 29, 2009

Last night's show is now available in the Audio Section. It features an extra nine minutes of heartache. Also, a plethora of bad videos featuring The Five Count House Band have been uploaded to our Facebook Page. They will rock your body down to the ground...

August 23, 2009

You can now download the latest edition of The Five Count, which features our special interview with "Genuine Nerd" Toby Radloff. You can also get a brand new show from yesteryear. All that and more can be found in the Audio Section. Also, a couple things were added to the Extras Section. We will probably put more stuff in there as soon as we can figure out what that is. If you have any ideas, let us know.

August 22, 2009

Tonight's show is our special "tribute to nerds" show with guest Toby Radloff. Grab your protractors and tune in at 11 p.m. to hear all the action. Remember, no one's gonna really be free until nerd persecution ends. Here's what you can expect:

August 17, 2009

We have a brand new page featuring the music of The Five Count House Band. You can also download the last four episodes of The Five Count. You can get all that and more in the Audio Section.

Also, this Saturday's show will feature a very special interview with "Genuine Nerd" Toby Radloff! Toby has appeared in films like American Splendor, Killer Nerd, Bride of Killer Nerd, and is well known for his MTV appearances and YouTube videos. The show is sure to bring out the nerd in us all. Check out more of Toby at www.waynealanharold.com.

August 10, 2009

We have a brand new show from "the vault" for you to download in our Audio Section. The old shows are selected at random, so it might be hit or miss. Considering it's The Five Count we're talking about, it's most likely the latter. If you have a request for an old show, drop us a line and we'll see if we can get it up for you.

Also, thanks to everyone who joined our Facebook fan page. We now have more than 300 Facebook buddies and counting. Be sure to spread the word to all your friends...

August 8, 2009

Don't forget tonight's show is "Ton's Birthday Blowout" show! Tune in at 11 p.m. to join in on the celebration. Feel free to call in and sing to him at 1-800-456-7810...

August 4, 2009

Welcome to the brand new website for The Five Count. Let us know what you think. It's not completely finished yet. We have a few more things to work on, but for the most part it's complete. We are going to try to have more updates to this site than we have in the past.

Don't forget to listen to the show this Saturday (Aug. 8) for "Ton's Special Birthday Blowout" show! They grow up fast.

...Special thanks to Paul Connolly III for helping us get the new site off the ground. Check out his band, Portrait of a Drowned Man, and be prepared to pick your brain up off the floor.